WTF?
In 1999, after a couple of years fiddling with that blogging thing on various other people's domains, I thought I had enough things to say to merit my very own corner of this here interweb. In 2007, I suddenly ran out of ammo. Thankfully, that didn't last forever... So, I'm back. Still not dead yet. Like a phoenix from the ashes. Behold.
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February 17, 2003
:: Crazy Bastards Everywhere ::
What with the ticket fiasco, I've had to spend considerable extra time in Bangkok. Fortunately, I have made a few friends in Bangkok over the past few months (on my frequent visits), and this has been a blessing. Dave has been an excellent social director and endless font of information and support, and another lovely friend of mine, whom I will not name here for reasons which will soon be apparent, very kindly offered to let me stay at her flat so that I wouldn't have to spend a fortune on guest houses. At first, I was reluctant - I'm always concerned about imposing on people - but after a night and a day of thinking about it, I accepted. This seemed like a good idea for everyone involved, and we did have fun gossiping and watching movies long into the night. Everything seemed fine, until...
My friend has a boyfriend, British, who's currently in London for several months. I met him on one of my previous visits to Bangkok and he apparently decided - either because I'm tall or because he's a total moron - that I'm gay. Now, that's ridiculous but not immediate cause for alarm. What is alarming is that he's apparently decided I'm trying to steal his girlfriend. He tried ringing her on Valentine's Day, but she and I had gone to grab a bite to eat after she got off work. It had never occurred to either of us that this might be something to worry about, until last night - or rather 5:00 this morning. The phone rang (waking both of us), and the argument began immediately. First, he accused her of having a man in her house. Then, a lesbian. Then, she was having affairs all over the place. I was awake too, and she (being a reasonable soul) kept offering to let him talk to me, but he wasn't interested. It did not escape my attention that 5:00 a.m. in Bangkok is 11:00 p.m. in London, or closing time at the local pub. They alternately argued and hung up on each other for almost an hour before she finally just shook her head and handed me the phone.
"Jason?" I said. "This is Louisa."
[pause]
"Oh. I thought your name was Lisa." What this has to do with anything is beyond me, so I ignore it.
"I object," I continue, using my calmest, most rational tone, "to the fact that you've decided I'm gay without ever having had a conversation with me." He insists that he doesn't care whether or not I'm gay. I carry on. "Moreover, I highly object to the fact that you're not only accusing me of trying to steal your girlfriend away from you, which is patently ridiculous, but also that she would even consider such an offer. She talks about virtually nothing but you, and she's just spent the last half hour telling you how much she loves you even though you're being abusive and irrational."
[another pause]
"Well," he says, "this wouldn't be a problem if it hadn't happened before. Women coming and offering her all sorts of things -"
"Really? Well, that's none of my business. Your girlfriend very kindly offered me a place to stay when I was in a minor crisis because my ex-boyfriend lost my plane tickets, and the only thing I've 'offered' her in return so far is a chocolate bar and a grilled squid. But I won't bother you anymore after tonight. I'll leave in the morning."
[long silence. I suspect it's at this point that he begins to realize how badly he's behaving. He repeats something about this having happened before, but now it sounds like a lame excuse.]
"Well, then I guess there's nothing I can do but let you talk to her again."
Twenty minutes later, he apologized. Amidst protests from my friend, I left this morning and am back in Khao San Road.
I ask you, what is wrong with men?
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Hang on... You're not gay?
No, she's very much not gay. How anyone can mistake that is amazing to me, but then again I'm not really one to talk about mistakes.
Well, what can I say. We are self-centered paranoid inconsiderate bastards. It's not like its particuarly genetic, and I'm not using that statement to hide behind. That just seems to be the tendency. There is no real excuse for any of it, though. The best I can speak of is my own behavior, and I've done things that, looking back, I have no idea why occured. I think we men just need to have a stronger inner dialogue and care more about the things and the people outside of us. If we start with that maybe we can get somewhere.
I'd say taking measures against psychotic/delusional behavior might be the best place to start. Fuck inner dialogue - that's what they make Thorazine for!
Almost forgot to mention - adding insult to injury, a man on the boat dock yesterday afternoon asked me why I sounded like a man, and then insisted I was a transvestite.
Shoot me.
Cripes. Men are nuts. Present company included. :)
If your a man, Im Elvis fuckin' Presley!