So after a day fully packed with meetings, I finally get a chance to glance at my email. NY Times headlines: Anthrax in the Senate. Anthrax in Pataki’s office. The airborne variety this time. Highly concentrated, weapons-grade. And I can’t help but be afraid of what’s coming. Much as I know it won’t help me, I can’t help it.

Is it just me, or does this whole thing over the past several weeks really just look like testing? Let’s make sure we get the mix right, fellas, make sure it’s as deadly as it possibly can be, and then we’ll set it loose. The next phase of this project isn’t another envelope – it’s something much worse. A ventilation system, a food packaging factory, something horrific and huge. These people want us dead, all of us. That’s the simple truth, and they’ll do anything to make it a reality.

My mother, whose childhood spanned World War II, says this reminds her of those dark years. I asked her if that was as terrible as it sounded. She told me, “One thing you learn during wartime is that the human animal is only capable of being afraid for so long, and then it’s over. You’re not afraid anymore.” I wonder when that moment will be.

In the meantime, how about this? It always makes me feel better…