and now for the cheesy part

You know those quizzes you get in your inbox that you nine times out of ten ignore completely? Yeah, me too. But I hadn’t seen this particular one before, and it seemed more interesting than most, and I had some procrastinating to do. So I’ll follow Mr. Atrocity‘s lead and post the damned thing.

1. My uncle once: After hearing the latest news on his brother’s hospitalisation, nodded sagely and said, “Yep. My lawn’s goin’ to hell.” He was a strange and singularly tactless man.
2. Never in my life have I: Broken a bone – mine or anyone else’s.
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile is: Many of my nearest and dearest. Which is of course why they are so near and dear.
4. School is: A complicated memory.
5. When I’m nervous: I pretend not to be. And talk rubbish. And, formerly, smoke a lot.
6. The last time I cried was: Let’s not talk about that.
7. If I were to get married right now my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: Wearing whatever the hell they like.
10. When I was 5: I noticed everything.
11. Last Christmas I: Realised Chicago really isn’t home anymore.
12. When I turn my head left, I see: (work) Shrigleys, a pig in a hat, obscene candy, a shot glass with feet, commemorative soap, and several rather disorderly piles of paper. (home) My kitchen.
13. When I turn my head right, I see: (work) My thinking cap. (home) 5 beautiful black and white photographs of Chicago by 2 friends.
14. When I look down I see: (work) My sunglasses, my diary, 4 different colours of post-it notes, a pencil, a water bottle, and assorted input devices. (home) A glass of wine, lip balm, a newsprint sketch pad, assorted desktop detritus.
15. The craziest recent event was: When I went diving with Tom Waits and then we split a bottle of kiwi-strawberry MD 20/20. Or maybe I just dreamt that.
16. If I was a character on Friends I’d be: Throwing someone off the balcony. Probably myself.
17. By this time next year: I will have learned a lot and laughed a lot, and probably cried some too.
18. My favorite Aunt is: Not with us anymore. But trust me, she rocked.
19. I have a hard time understanding: People who aren’t interested in the world around them.
20. One time at a family gathering: My Dad let us eat without taking so many pictures of us around the table with the food on it that it was all cold before our first bite. But only the once.
21. You know I “like” you if: I’m nervous (see above). And I’m smiling an awful lot.
22. If I won an award, the first person I’d thank is: the lovely suggestible fool who gave it to me.
23. Take my advice: When joy comes your way, soak it up like a sponge. It’ll get you through a lot of rainy days. Also: love. Take the chance. No matter what happens, it’s worth it.
24. My ideal breakfast is: A cheese and mushroom omelette, crispy bacon, a mimosa and cafe au lait. Or, alternatively, a Road Rage Bloody Mary and a cuppa joe at the Spoke.
25. If you visit my hometown: You’ll love it, it’s fabulous. And if you call me I’ll give you some good places to go, including my favourite bar. Tell them I say hi.
26. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon: Cornwall, New York and Chicago, the Red Sea, Paris and Aveyron, Thailand and Cambodia.
27. If you spend the night at my house: You’d better not be allergic to kittens. And I’ll lend you my spare dressing gown in the morning.
28. I’d stop my wedding: erm.. yes?
29. The world could do without: Civilian vehicles made by Hummer, and the assholes people who drive them.
30. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: [shudder] This reminds me of a quote from somewhere or other about how extremes are wasted on humans because after a certain level of discomfort or pain (or in this case disgust) we can no longer distinguish between bad and worse.
31. Most recent thing you’ve bought yourself: KITTENS!
32. Most recent thing someone else bought for you: Fabulous, thoughtful, lovely birthday loot and lots of it.
33. My favorite blonde is: God, I don’t know. David Bowie?

34. My favorite brunette is: a terrible film.
35. And by the way: Gotta go with Atrocity on this. Life is beautiful.
36. The last time I was high: I had a long and rambling discussion with a friend over a few bottles of wine and a good dinner, on a farm in France.
37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: Unicorns. Duh.
38. I shouldn’t have: Pretended it was ok.

39. Once, at a bar: I saw a Ron Jeremy lookalike doing the best karaoke impression of Tom Jones I’ve ever seen.
40. Last night: (OK, 2 nights ago really but I think I’ve said enough about kittens) Was a perfect night for a few friends to have a few pints outdoors. So we did.
41. There’s this girl I know who: Makes every room she’s in a little shinier. I know a few of them actually, which makes me a very lucky girl.
42. This guy I know: Always comes through at the most unexpected times.
43. A better name for me would be: No idea. I’m OK with the one I’ve got.
44. If I ever go back to school I’ll: Be a lot better equipped to enjoy it.
45. How many days until my birthday?: Less than 365 but too many to count just now.