I swear I did not make this up.

Sansabelt: they’re not just for your funny-smelling octagenarian neighbor anymore…

sansabeltad4 (54k image)

8 Comments

  1. weeza

    You’ve gotta love that one of the selling features is that they’re “designed to expand 2″ in the waist”. That’s like saying, “I know I’m a fatass pig who can’t keep my greasy paws offa the ice cream, beer and pork rinds for a single fucking second so I might as well buy some pants that I won’t have to replace in a week.”

  2. stephen riley

    yeah. i heard sweatpants are coming back. Or those fun workout pants with the purpley prints that fat guys on the south side wear.

    its all about the expandability, baby. I mean you really cant make that shot in their ad wearing like dockers or something. Puh-leaze.

  3. Today his best client will move the meeting up from 8 to 7. Cause his best client is only 11 and it’s to dark to go outside then.

    He hop a commuter plane just as the doors are closing, but thanks to the amazing space age polymer in Sansabelt trousers, he can squeeze those last gut-busting inches through the steel doors.

    Spontaneously accept an invitation to play a round of golf, and subsequently, fall to his knees clutching his chest from angina pains.

    Write a proposal as he flies home… from his mistress’ home.

    Kick a soccer ball with the kids [because his peers can outplay his andipose, doughy form any day of the week].

    And take his wife out for a nice dinner.. at the Sizzler.

  4. I gave up on pants a long time ago. It’s all jumpsuits for me now, baby. Jumpsuits with red white ‘n’ blue spangles all over ’em. Preferrably in the pattern of a big eagle on the back.

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