This week, we are working on the Functional Specification for our current (8-headed hydra of a) project. Today, I am writing the overview for this 300-page behemoth. It will not, unfortunately, read as follows:
This document will:
• confuse the everliving shit out of you
• tell you nothing you didn’t already know
• confuse what you thought you already knew
This document will not:
• provide you with any sort of clear picture of what you’ll get at the conclusion of the project
• shed light on any of your previously submitted questions
• be followed by us, either, unless it’s convenient
The purpose of the control tables is to confuse you and confound our development team. The purpose of the wireframes is to make you squint. The purpose of the pitiful little explanation sections is to make you keep reading in hopes that some portion of this enormous document will turn out to be in english.
Which it will not.
forgot..
this doc will..
* effectively kill insects
* drive poor weeza to drink
* end up being fantastic.
that is my job. administrative policy and procedures manual, ho! office technology policy manual,not one but TWO versions! words! then drinks!